4. Dore wa Kuma-san desu ka
I didn't know what time Kotoha had come home. With little else to do, I'd made a beeline for my bed—which was little more than a mattress on the floor—and fallen asleep. How such a thin mattress could be so comfortable beat me. It was barely a couple of inches thick!
When I woke up, sunlight bathed my room, and my stomach rumbled. I yawned, stretching bare arms out in front of me. Which was odd. Only intending a brief nap, I'd climbed under the duvet fully dressed. I glanced around the room and located my clothes. Neatly folded and within arm's reach. A quick feel under the covers confirmed the pile contained all of my clothes and that it was indeed morning.
I dressed with haste, a flowery scent enveloped me. It was rather pleasant. But to think I'd sleep for half a day! Did time move differently here, or had I achieved another dream of mine?
Well, I could muse on that later. For now, I headed to where the food was.
「おはようございます」 Kotoha said as I entered the dining area. For some reason, she blushed and looked away. Maybe it was because I kept sniffing my chequered shirt. 「洗いましたよ、ガイさんの服」 She spoke to the floor, but ガイ meant me, right?
I didn't know any of the other words, but didn't I have a way to probe for information now? I tried putting it to use.
「洗いましたは何ですか」
「あっ、えっと・・・」 She shifted her feet and concentrated on looking at the floor tiles. 「洗濯機を使って、汚れを取ります。そうして、服が綺麗になります」 Her voice grew quieter as she spoke. Kotoha was undeniably cute with how she fidgeted.
But I didn't understand what she had said. Maybe I'd have more luck asking about the other word from that first sentence. 「服は何ですか」
Kotoha jumped and her squirming intensified. 「服です・・・か・・・服は服です。えっと、着る・・・物・・・ぬ、脱ぐ物・・・あっ！もう！服は・・・シャツとか、パ、パンツとか・・・し・・・下着も・・・と、とにかく！今日は他の教えたい事があります！」 By the time she finished speaking, Kotoha was positively glowing. But she was looking at me.
I wanted to tell her my eyes were far higher up, but I didn't know how, and... I quickly pulled out a chair and sat down, trying to cover myself with as much of the table as possible. Honestly! It wasn't right. A cute girl looking there so openly! It was enough to get my Guy fired up!
I studied the tabletop. Today, it only had bowls of cereal and orange juice on it.
「これは服です」 Kotoha said in a hushed voice as I felt her tug on my shirt.
After that, we ate breakfast in silence.
I stayed sitting at the table long after the bowls were cleared away, stuck wondering what I'd done to upset Kotoha.
We were outside. My roomie's garden was impressive. With no visible wall or fencing, I had no idea where it ended; it seemed to stretch on to the horizon. I didn't even see any other houses. "Thank you, Miyuki," I muttered at the thought she could have stranded me alone in this wilderness. Even as a whisper, it was white noise, but I hoped she'd understand anyway—if she were watching me.
Several metres away, Kotoha busied herself setting up the props for whatever she wanted us to do. From where I stood, it looked like a tea-party, complete with plushie guests. She fell down several times. At last, she bounded over to me.
「ガイさん!準備出来ましたので、始めましょう」 Kotoha brushed stray dirt off her bountiful bosom, then led me to one of the tables. A tatty brown teddy bear sat on it.
「これはクマさんですよ」
「よろしくね、ガイくん！」 Kotoha tilted the bear so it appeared to bow, and spoke in a silly voice. I guessed it was meant to be an OAP. Well, the bear did look ancient. She patted the bear on its head, then made to leave the table. I followed.
「だめです。ガイさんここに待っててね」 Her cheeks red, Kotoha pushed me back to the table. Her hand was warm against my chest.
She jumped back, then dashed toward a table a short distance away. Half-way there, she tripped, and face-planted in the grass.
I ran over to her, but before I could reach her, I was hit in the face!
「ガイさん！だめですぅぅ。そこに立ちなさい！」
Kotoha had rolled over and sprayed me in the face with a water pistol that looked more like a shotgun. Where had she concealed that?!
I returned to the bear, Kuma-san, and sulked. Water dripped from my face onto my shoes.
良い犬、いいえ、モルモットだね、ガイくんは！！！
I didn't like how the collar laughed at me, so I ignored it.
「聞こえますか、ガイさん？」 Kotoha was jumping around waving her arms and... other things... I watched until she stopped to catch her breath, then waved at her. Class had begun. She picked up the toy cat from the table next to her and said:
「これはネコさんです！それは何ですか？」
I knew the answer to this, right? I shouted out, 「それはクマさんで――ばっばっばっ・・・」
A solid stream of water drowned out the rest of my sentence and almost me! Kotoha had an incredible aim. She doubled over, laughing. The water shotgun had already vanished.
「あたしの場合は、ここに立っていますので、それは『それ』で、」 Kotoha said, wiping away tears. 「ガイさんには、それは『これ』です。難しいでしょう」 She walked over to where I stood and handed me a towel, then picked up the bear. 「今、あたしにも、クマさんは『これ』です。そこにあるネコさんは『それ』です。分かりますか」
This was confusing. Why was it wrong for me to say それ when Kotoha had said it for the bear earlier? I needed to think this over. With the collar's help, I pulled up a log of what she had said so far and stripped out the bits I didn't know.
1. これはクマさんです。
2. これはネコさんです！それは何ですか。
3. あたし ... それは『それ』... ガイさん ... それは『これ』です。
4. あたし ... クマさんは『これ』です ... ネコさんは『それ』です。
This was very much like a riddle in a video game where part of the clue was missing. For 1 and 4, Kotoha and I had been at the same table. For 2 and 3, we were at different tables. That had to mean something, else what was the reason for the tables? There was a third table, too, much farther away. It had a dog on it.
Previously, hadn't I decided これ meant this? The conversations from that first day were fuzzy. I could no longer recall them easily.
Okay, time to fill in the blanks. If I said, 「それはクマさんです」 again, would I get another face full?
The answer was yes.
I wiped my face and tried a different approach. What if I said 「これはネコさんです」 while pointing at the cat, to make it clear I wasn't talking about the bear?
Another face full and a Kotoha locked in the throes of laughter.
But I smiled nonetheless. I think I could put some pieces of the riddle together.
これ == this or the item near me.
それ == that or the item not near me.
「それはネコさんです」 I offered once Kotoha had calmed down. This set her off again, but this time she jumped and clapped and then shoved something small into my hand. A treat? Am I her pet or something? I thought as I put the piece of chocolate in my mouth and the wrapper in my pocket.
I'd no idea why, but Kotoha blushed again. 「そこに行ってください」 she said, pushing on my back. I guess she wanted me to go over to the cat now.
「これは何ですか」 Kotoha shouted, holding up the bear.
The bear wasn’t near me, which meant…
「それはクマさんです」
Something hit me in the head and bounced off. I looked down to see another piece of chocolate. I rubbed my forehead and ate the chocolate. Was I going to get a tummy rub, too, if I kept this up?
I held the cat up and fired back a question of my own, 「これは何ですか」
I dodged the chocolate Kotoha lobbed at me while she answered: 「それはネコさんです！」
I scooped my treat up as she threw another curve ball.
「どれはクマさんですか」
どれ? That was new. But I didn't think the answer changed. The bear was not next to me. 「それはクマさんです」
「はい！どれはクマさんですか。これです！」 Kotoha ate a piece of chocolate, looking proud of herself.
Ah. It seems I could shorten the answer. But what did どれ mean? Let's see... If これ meant this (near me) and それ meant that (not near me), did どれ mean which?
はい、そうだよ！
All right. My turn: 「どれはネコさんですか」
I masterfully parried the incoming chocolate to the floor. Then took another piece to the ear as I let my guard down.
「それです！さ、イヌさんはどれですか」
Kotoha only tripped twice as she moved over to me. Why on earth was she suddenly so clumsy? I didn't remember her being like this before. Wait, was this planet also called Earth? I added this to my growing list of things I wanted to know.
クマさん was the bear. ネコさん, the cat. There was only one other plushie, the dog, which was a good four metres away. 「それはイヌさんです」 I said, pointing at the dog.
「ブブゥ！」
The water shotgun packed a real punch so close. I fell on my butt, totally drenched. Damn this girl!
「あれはイヌさんです」
Kotoha joined me on the ground. She had both the cat and the bear with her. She handed me the bear.
「これはネコさんです」 she said and shook the cat. 「それはクマさんです」 She tapped the bear I was holding. 「あれはイヌさんです」 This time, Kotoha pointed toward the dog.
It was time for a quick review. This trigger-happy girl had introduced four words: これ, それ, どれ, and あれ. When something was close to or held by her, she had used これ. For things close to me or held by me, she'd used それ. どれ I could equate to which or which one. That left あれ. The dog was not close to or held by either of us. So I guessed あれ had a connotation of being that (thing) further away.
To test this, I threw the bear plushie as far as I could, then said, 「あれはクマさんです」 No water hit me in the face, but I didn't get a treat either.
Kotoha punched me instead. 「ちょっと！クマさんを投げないでください！」 Tears welled up at the corners of her eyes as she ran over to the bear. She scooped it up protectively. Then, before I knew it, the bear was gone and Kotoha was dashing toward me waving her arms and shouting something I couldn't make out.
All I could hear was...
アワワワワ！
...Before Kotoha threw herself at me! Perhaps it was tummy rub time after all!